Getmeoffthisplanet

A look at 21st century earth from the outside.

Road planners

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Who plans roads? What qualifications do they have? Probably a First Class Degree in ‘winding people up’ if the new jumble of excuses for roads I have seen recently are anything to go by.

Road rage - Caused by bumbling road planners.

One catastrophic example of road planning I see all the time is single carriageway roads that split to two lanes as they approach a set of traffic lights. Only to go back into one lane in each direction shortly after the lights. This seems to invite road rage each time the lights turn to red as people jostle for position and try to get past that lorry. One road I know (the A38 heading towards Mansfield off the M1) has exactly this mind-blowing arrangement every half mile or so. I ventured onto this road once only to find mind-numbingly boring crawling traffic interspersed with a few seconds of excitement as people swore at each other or, on a couple of occasions, get out of their vehicles to have a not-so-friendly word with the poor old granny who finds herself sandwiched between a large lorry and a boy racer.

Another demented road planning trick is to start placing traffic lights at junctions along roads that are actually dual carriageways for a couple of miles or longer. From what I have seen this leads to almost everyone under the age of 80 being invited into a race from each set of lights as we all progress down the merry way.

Finally, a bypass was recently built around Mansfield – the new A617 from Rainworth to the afore-mentioned A38. I would like to meet the bright spark who looked at the future traffic needs of the area and decided that this would only be one lane in each direction. What a fecking plonker. This road is already full to the brim. Not only that, the number of traffic lights one encounters is staggering. On top of this, they have decided to build a new business park at the side of it. The business park will have two entrances and in a move that stuns the very breath from your lungs and pounds the senses into submission, they have decided to place traffic lights at both of them. All on a single carriageway bypass.

The fecking bypass will soon need a bypass to bypass it!

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Written by Tim Leal

October 16, 2008 at 1:29 pm

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